Making Change Work For You

"Change, the necessary evil!" "The only thing that stays the same is change." "Change never stops!"

These are a just a few of the clichés I hear often about change - and they always make me cringe, because they're not particularly helpful when you're on the cusp, or in the throes of making change.

Change is a loaded word. What comes up for you when you say it to yourself? Thinking about change can be confronting; impacting feelings at all sorts of different levels. Sometimes people go through a significant life event and then make a change in their life as a result. Incremental changes occur in our lives all the time; both the planned kind and the surprises.

Change is necessary sometimes, to propel ourselves out of stuck places. Change-seeking behaviour is a common response to feeling like you want or need something more in your life.

Here are some of my observations about change and I hope they help you to approach the notion of personal change with a more helpful mindset than the one those cliches inspire! Lean In To Discomfort Discomfort with change is a normal reaction. We tend to move through stages of disorientation, adaption, and then the new norm. Expect this!

Change Is Your Choice You always have a choice over how you will react to change. Remember my good old favourite - Event + Response = Outcome. You can't choose some change events, but you can choose how you respond to change. It is extremely empowering to re-frame change as an opportunity.

Own It You can be reactive or proactive in the change process. At times it will happen to you and other times you will proactively make the change. But even if change is not your choice, your life is still your own. Take control of the wheel, and chart your own course, adapting, yet not surrendering, to the weather of change.

Know Your Change Personality Change can feel like a loss of control, and depending on your personality, this can affect you to a greater or lesser degree. If the need for order in your life is strong, change will have a greater impact upon you and possibly be a bigger challenge. If you are highly open to change and seek it constantly, remember there is a need for balance. Too much change can cause feelings of unrest.

Change-Free Zones Change-free zones are safe spaces and structures in your life that, whatever else is going on, always remain the same. It might be a small daily ritual such as a 20 minute morning walk, or your evening cup of herbal tea. It might be a comforting, reassuring relationship. Having the steadying influence of change-free zones, will help you navigate the change-zones. Also, remember that most changes don’t require immediate action. Don’t be afraid to slow down and take your time through change. Boundaries Set strong personal boundaries about what you will and won’t do or accept. Put your basic physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs first. Sometimes you can just say “no” to change or to others’ requests.

Above all, remember that it is okay to ask for help. Draw on your existing support system when you are going through any major change, or look around and create some new support networks. You don't have to go through change alone.